La Vie Boheme

Lyricist:     Composer:
ANGEL
Who died?

BENNY
Our Akita

ANGEL, ROGER & COLLINS
Evita

BENNY
You make fun - yet I'm the one attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia's a fallacy in your head. This is Calcutta, Bohemia is dead

MARK
Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes

COLLINS & ROGER
Dies irae - dies illa, Kyrie eleison yitgadal v'yitkadash

MARK
Here she lies, no one knew her worth
The late great daughter of Mother Earth on these nights when we celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem. We raise our glass - you bet your ass to - La vie Boheme

ALL
La vie Boheme, La vie Boheme, La vie Boheme, La vie Boheme

MARK
To days of inspiration, playing hookey, making something out of nothing
The need to express- to communicate, to going against the grain, going insane, going mad
To loving tension, no pension, to more than one dimension, to starving for attention,
Hating convention, hating pretension. Not to mention of course, hating dear old Mom and Dad
To riding your bike, midday past the three-piece suits, to fruits - to no absolutes- to Absolut -
To choice- to the Village Voice- to any passing fad. To being an us for once ... instead of a them!!

ALL
La vie Boheme, La vie Boheme

MR. GREY
Ahhemm

MAUREEN
Hey Mister - she's my sister

WAITER
So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad, three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls

ROGER
Eww

COLLINS
It tastes the same

MIMI
If you close your eyes

WAITER
And thirteen orders of fries. Is that it here?

ALL
Wine and beer!

MIMI & ANGEL
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries. To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildoes, to curry vindaloo. To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou

MAUREEN & COLLINS
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion. Creation, vacation

MARK
Mucho masturbation

MAUREEN & COLLINS
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new

COLLINS
To Sontag

ANGEL
To Sondheim

FOUR GIRLS
To anything taboo

COLLINS & ROGER
Ginsberg, Dylan Cunnigham and Cage,

COLLINS
Lenny Bruse

ROGER
Langston Hughes

MAUREEN
To the stage

BOHEMIANS
To Uta. To Buddha. Pablo Neruda, too.

MARK & MIMI
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow to blow off Auntie Em

ALL
La vie Boheme

MR. GREY
Sisters?

MAUREEN & JOANNE
We're close

ANGELS & COLLINS
Brothers!

MARK, ANGEL & MIMI
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens, Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman
German wine, turpetine, Gertrude Stein, Antoniotti, Bertolucci, Kurosawa, Carmina Burana

ALL
To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstacy, Vaclav Havel - The Sex Pistols, 8BC
To no shame - never playing the Fame Game

COLLINS
To marijuana

ALL
To sodomy, it's between God and me. To S & M

BENNY
Waiter ... Waiter ... Waiter ....... Waiter!

ALL
La vie Boheme

COLLINS
In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon
will commence immediately following dinner ...
Maureen Johnson, just back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot,
will perform Native American tribal chants backwards through her vocoder,
while accompanying herself on the electric cello - which she ain't never studied.

ROGER
And Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability
to hold an erection on the high holy days.

MARK
And Mimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap,
will perform her famous lawn chair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred.
And Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song.
That doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz!"

COLLINS
Angel Dumott Schunard will model the latest fall fashions
from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub.

ANGEL
And Collins will recount his exploits as anarchist -
including the tale of the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T.
virtual reality equipment to self-destruct, as it broadcasts the words

ALL
"Actual reality - Act Up - Fight AIDS"

MIMI
Excuse me - did I do something wrong? I get invited - then ignored all night long

ROGER
I've been trying - I'm not lying. No one's perfect. I've got baggage

MIMI
Life's too short, babe, time is flying. I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine

ROGER
I should tell you

MIMI
I got baggage too

ROGER
I should tell you

ROGER & MIMI
Baggage

ALL
Wine and beer!

MIMI
AZT break

ROGER
You?

MIMI
Me. You?

ROGER
Mimi