Claudia Koh
floating on the surface
appearing like I got it
had it all under control
but drownin’ in the waves
I wanna scream to stop it
rather I just swallowed it whole
my body was folded in half
sobs erupted all night, all night
the depth of my being
admitted the truth deep inside, inside
paralysed by
every little thing they decide
why’s this on my mind, mind
won’t know what I’m thinkin’
at least my feelings can be defined
things are wonderful
wonderful til they’re not
hard to own what I don’t choose
what I don’t choose
life’s like tryin’ to talk a
grenade out of explodin’
headin’ out to battle to lose
but don’t get me wrong
I’m grateful for all of the things
that has happened to me, to me
the moment you see smoke
yea you know that its too late to flea
paralysed by
every little thing they decide
why’s this on my mind, mind
won’t know what I’m thinkin’
but I still feel my chest beatin’ in these
high tides, low tides
emotions that I just can’t describe
impossible to hide, hide
can’t tell what I’m thinkin’
but at least I’m so done from hidin’ now
there’s a lot of conversations here
that I don’t want to have
but I know that I’m attached
I can’t, I can’t turn back
there’s a lot of conversations here
that never meant to have
I’d put them in my bag
even if I tell them
they won’t understand
no, they won’t understand
even if I explain
they’ll just misunderstand, misunderstand
this is why so long I’ve been quiet
I found peace, protect my tide