Single Man Drought

(And that’s why I love aerodynamic engineering.)
(Wow Bob, what a long story.)
(So, anything to start?)
(Oh no, Bob, no appetizer for me, I'm a very light eater.)
I'm lying
(Plus, I didn't get to the gym, and generally I go every single day).
I'm really lying.
(Veronica, you are one special lady, I could talk to you all night.)
Please God don't let him.
(But my real passion is golf. Do you like golf?)
(Of course!)
I'm lying
(Do you play?)
(Oh, surely.)
Oh boy, I'm lying.
(We gotta play some time.)
(Your course or mine.)
Who is this woman talking
(Hey did you ever see the greatest golf movie ever made, “Caddy shack?”)
(Loved it!)
I didn't see this movie.
(What was your favorite scene?)
Help me,
Help me,
help me.
(So the difference between fuel exhaust and fuel injection is really simple.)
To think he thinks he's at his best, no thought tonight has he repressed.
He talks, and talks, and eyes my breast, there's a serious single man drought.

Now some would say a catch I found.
He's single, straight, his mind is sound.
There's four guys left like him around.
There's a serious single man drought.

I can't believe he's talking still.
Oh God I need a scotch refill.
He chews.
He spews.
I could use a pill. There's a serious single man drought.
Standards, I used to have some standards.
But man by man every standard meandered from me.
Lesbian, I should be a lesbian.
If I was born to love women how wond’rously sane I would be.
(And who is your favorite Caddyshack actor?)
(Oh, uh, well you know, that person, that wacky nutty- nutty, golf- thingy guy.)
(Chevy Chase?)
(Yes!)
(Me too!)
I could grow old alone just fine.
I'll buy some cats like 29.
They'll find me dead in my feline shrine.
There's a serious single man drought.
So I date bob and hope and flirt, he might get better by dessert.
I stay, I pray, still I assert, there's a serious single man, delirious single man...
(And let me take care of the check.)
(Lets split it.)
I'm lying.
I'm lying.
I'm really lying.
(No. It’s on me)
You bet your sweet macho gold card it is.
‘Cause there's a serious, delirious, “severious,” “varbirious,” send the Marines, we're talking serious, single man drought!
(Ladies room!)