Hell’s Greatest Dad

Lucifer: Haha! Looks like you could use some help
From the Big Boss of Hell himself
Check out Daddy's glowing reviews on Yelp

Lucifer Muppets: "Five Stars!"
"Flawless!"
"Greater than great!"

Lucifer: Oh, with a punch of a pentagram
I wap-bam-boom, alakazam
Usually, I charge a sacrificial lamb
But you get the family rate!

Lucifer and Charlie: "Thanks, Dad!"

Who needs a busboy now that you've got the chef?
(Woh-oh-oh!)
Michelin tasting menu, free à la carte
I'll rig the game for you because I'm the ref!

Champagne fountains
Caviar mountains
That's just a start!

Alastor: Who's been here since day one?
Who's been faithful as a nun?
Makes you chuckle with an old-timey pun?
Your executive producer

Charlie Morningstar: That's true!

Alastor: I'm your guy, your day-to-day
Your chum, your steadfast hotelier
Remember when I fixed that clog today?

Niffty: I was stuck. Thank you, sir!

Charlie: Oh you!

Alastor: I'm truly honored that we've built such a bond

Charlie: Aawww!

Alastor: You're like the child that I wish that I had

Lucifer: Uh, what?

Alastor: I care for you just like a daughter I spawned

Lucifer: Hold on now!

Alastor: It's a little funny
You could almost call me
Dad!

(Lucifer plays a golden fiddle)
(Alastor plays piano)
(Lucifer plays accordion)

Alastor: They say when you're looking for assistance
It's smart to pick the path of least resistance

Lucifer: Others say that in your needy hour
There's no substitute for pure angelic power!
Who just happens to also be your blood!

Alastor: Sadly, there are times
A birth parent is a dud
They say the family you choose is better

Lucifer: What a bunch of losers!
Alastor: Can you butt out of my song?
Lucifer: Your song? I started this!
Alastor: I'm singing it, I'll finish it!
Lucifer: Oh you tacky piece of—!

Mimzy: It's me!
Yes, it's me!
I know you were all waiting for me!

I'm here!
What a gas!
Took a while but I'm present at last!

It's me!
It's me!
Mimzzzyyyyyyy!

Lucifer: Who?